Shirley Sherrod Discovered Race Definitely Matters When Negotiating and You’re Always Negotiating

Shirley Sherrod was caught in a racial firestorm, partially because she’s Black, and partially because race relations are exploited by some people in the U.S. when negotiating. In the case of Shirley Sherrod, she was an innocent bystander, slandered.

Twenty-four years ago, Shirley Sherrod’s job was to assist farmers in securing services that would lead to avoiding foreclosure on their farms. During that time, Shirley Sherrod made a presentation to an organization. In her presentation, she related a story of her encounter with a particular white farmer that was condescending to her. She stated, initially she was not going to lend her ‘full’ effort to assisting this farmer, but after reflecting upon her negative thoughts, she decided to assist him with her full support, anyway. She did so, because she realized the need for assistance comes in all colors and in all ethnicities. Moreover, she reflected, it was the right thing to do.

That was the message she conveyed to the audience. What Shirley Sherrod didn’t count on was the fact that her information and eventual good thoughts and name would be turned against her, twenty-four years after she made her presentation. She forgot, “you’re always negotiating’.

Shirley Sherrod’s character was one of assisting her fellow man. When you understand someone’s character, you can negotiate with them based on their character. By understanding their character, you have an understanding as to how they’re likely to react in certain situations. In Shirley Sherrod’s situation, once her character was explored, it was discovered that she’d worked ceaselessly to assist people of all ethnicities.

Had the rush to judge Shirley Sherrod not been done in such haste, by everyone involved (White House, NAACP, U.S. Agriculture Department, the U.S. Media), not to say anything about those that initiated the victimization, it would have been discovered that she possessed a low likelihood of committing such accused acts.

What ‘teachable moments’ are rooted in this situation?

1. Never be too quick to accept information as pure fact and acting upon it, without proper vetting.

2. If you’re quick to ‘rush to judgment’ and you’re later proven to be wrong, be ‘big enough’ to admit your mistake sooner than later, and apologize quickly, to the person, or those that you’ve impugned.

3. With reverse racism being such a ‘touchy point’ of contention for some people in the U.S., there’s a faction in the country that will seek to exploit race, anytime they have the opportunity. When you negotiate, be aware of this fact.

4. Anyone can be portrayed as a ‘Shirley Sherrod’. Therefore, no matter where you are and what you do, even when you don’t consider yourself as such, remember, you’re always negotiating.

Where race relations are concerned in negotiations, there’ll be many ‘teachable moments’, from which to learn. As you encounter negotiation situations in life, related to race, take note and learn from them. In so doing, you’ll find that you’ll become more knowledgeable and informed about the way others think… and everything will be right with the world. Always remember, you’re always negotiating.

The Negotiation Tips Are…

· No matter what your vocation, you’re always selling and marketing yourself. In so doing, when negotiating, understand the environment you’re in and the manner in which others might process information about you. Consider the role race may play in their decision making process.

· Even when people within one race negotiate with others of the same race, race matters. It matters, because there’ll be segments in the race that distinguish itself from other segments and thus will react differently to different thoughts, suggestions, and ideas. So, in order to achieve successful outcomes to negotiations, you have to understand the source of motivation required to ‘move that person to action’. Don’t assume he’s like everyone else in the race and apply a broad stroke to him in applying your negotiation strategies and tactics.

· When negotiating, don’t be too quick to judge someone when exploring accounts of their past behavior, good or bad. Gather the appropriate information, consider the source of the information and vet the information before attempting to provide solutions to correct it. Don’t be made to appear foolish due to haste.

To see video, click link below.

Bad Christmas Presents For Your Wife

Shopping is not an activity that most men enjoy. Especially when it involves a big crowd, long queues and expensive price tags. However, husbands cannot escape shopping for a Christmas present for their wife. It is a time for you to show how much you appreciate and love her. Getting the right gift is important. Get the wrong gift and you send the wrong message. If you don’t want to be an “insensitive” husband, avoid getting things in the list below which I deem to be bad Christmas presents for your wife.

Household appliances

Do not be tempted to buy household appliances such as juicers, breadmakers, vacuum cleaners, food processors or cappuccino makers as a Christmas gift. Yes, it will lighten her load and help out in her chores. However, gifts are not about making life easy for her. In my book, it shouldn’t even be considered a gift but rather a household necessity. Gifts are about making her feel good about herself. It’s a message saying how special she is to you and how much you love her. Don’t get me wrong. You can buy household appliances for her. In fact, you should. Just not as a Christmas present.

Clothes

Too many things can go wrong if you decide to buy clothes for her:

  • wrong size
  • she may not like the material
  • wrong color
  • don’t fit well.

If you believe this is the best gift, then take her with you or be 100% sure it is something she wants.

Self Improvement books or CDs

Women are very sensitive. Give a self improvement or CD for a gift and she will very likely interpret it wrongly. You may think you are doing her a favor but she will not see it that way. Gifts should not in any way point out her weaknesses. So, stay away from those recipe books and how-to guides.

Chocolates and Teddy bears

These gifts are too generic. It shows that you didn’t put much thought into it. They are not special enough for a Christmas present. Plus, if you have children, they would think it is silly for mommy to be playing with teddy bears. Gourmet chocolates is an okay gift but would be better as a random gift. For example, surprise her any time throughout the year as a way of saying “I appreciate you” or “I’m thinking of you”. If you want to give chocolates as a Christmas gift, make sure it comes with something more personal like jewelry.

Decorations

I’m talking about something that you would put on a wall, table or shelf just for display purposes. So, no ugly lamps, statues or paintings. The exception would be if you framed up a nice picture of her, the family or both of you together. If it’s meaningless or does not trigger an emotion (other than disgust and disappointment), don’t get it.

To get the right Christmas gift for your wife, take some time to ponder what she wants. Don’t think so much about what she needs. Here are some hints:

  • She wants a break. She wants some time away from chores, work and kids.
  • She wants to be pampered.
  • She wants to feel loved. Inject some romance into her life.
  • She wants to know she is special. Give her something personal that reflects your love for her.

Happy shopping!

How Your Future Can Rob Your Present

Going after your passion and Focusing on your goals are the corner stones of success. That is a common knowledge: one should focus and concentrate in order to achieve maximum results. It gets a lot of emphasize lately.

But there is a trump in this process of success. It is so easy to fall into it, that it should be spoken out loads.

Your goals are in the future.

At the Present, What you experience as your life, is the road you walk to achieve your goals.

Hence, your future determined your present.

So, the big question is what are you willing to do in order to achieve your goals?
Are you willing to have “bad” life now, for limited time, in order to have “good” life later?

Here lay the trump. We are sure that we are smart enough and logic enough to think in cost-benefit terms, to know our borders and have the common sense to make the right choices. “I have my limits”, “not in any costs”, “I have my values” etc.
But never the less, we fall into the trump of “too much focusing”.

Here is a story about a man who decided to go to the beach to collect some sea shells. It was a beautiful sunny day, few days after a storm. The beach was full of shells and small stones.
Our man takes a basket, and he is going along the beach, face down, looking for special shells and rear stones.

The beach is beautiful, white send; skies are blue, and few seagulls flying around. A pleasant wind and the sound of the waves complete the perfect scenery.

Our man is focusing in his mission. Time passed, his basket is half full. More people arrive at the shore; children are playing, the sun get hotter and the waves much higher. The basket starts to be heavy, the man sweats, but he would not stop. So many beautiful pieces here, he just needs to pick them up. Tomorrow they might be swiped to the sea. More time passed, it is afternoon, he became tired, he did not stop to drink or to eat, the basket is heavy, and he has to go through all the way back. Still he feels lucky to have these treasures with “no effort” at all.

At evening, he gets back home tired but satisfied. He suffers from sunstroke, and all he wants is to go to sleep.

At the time he was walking on the beach, he was so focused on finding beautiful shells and rear stones that his head was bending down, his eyes were looking at the ground, so he could not notice how beautiful this day was. He could not see the blue sky, he did not pay attention to other people, and he did not hear the seagulls or the sound of the waves.

More than that, when he came home, he was so tiered that he missed his family too. But still he is happy with his achievements, he thinks “tomorrow is another day”, I can go to enjoy the sea sure some other time, I will enjoy with my family tomorrow etc.

This walking on the beach is the metaphor for ones life.

His passion and Focusing on his goal to collect as many rear shells and stones he could, theft his life from him. The problem is that it is not something he was aware of when he was walking on the beach.
It could hold a long time until he will notice that his future have stolen his present, and it could be too late. This beautiful sunny day and other sunny days are gone.

So, the big question is what are you willing to do in order to achieve your goals?
Are you willing to have “bad” life now, for limited time, in order to have “good” life later?

I admit, this is a provocative question. Life is about choices. Choices could be conscious or unconscious. You set a goal, you focus, you concentrate, and you persist.
Soon your Automatic pilot will take control over your common sense, your limits and priorities and could take control even over your values in order to achieve that goal. Be aware; every thing is about proportions. Do not lose your present for the future.